Merry Madness — The Tournament of Holiday Music (Part 6) The Round of 32. (East and West).
The faithful were watching the brackets with care,
In hopes that their few favorite songs would be there.
It actually starts off pretty easy in the East. I think we can all agree that #1 “White Christmas” was not a surprise to take down the #8 seed, “Please Come Home for Christmas” by The Eagles. I mean The Eagles simply didn’t want it badly enough. They were like “come home for Christmas!” but then they were like “or, if not then, maybe New Year’s Eve?” What’s next, Eagles? “You know what, baby, whenever you feel like it, no pressure. I love you, but only if that doesn’t make you uncomfortable…” Get some balls, Eagles. Bing Crosby — 78, Henley & co — 59.
A terrible upset in the same region as #2 “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by Perry Como was shocked by “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” from Darlene Love. Usually unstoppable in the interior, Como could not get past the wall of sound and Love (as predicted) was deadly from 20 feet out. A tasteful pre-halftime saxophone solo gave the #10 seed momentum that continued in the third quarter. At last, in the final few seconds, the call and response of “Please, (please)” and beautiful polyrhythmic piano stabs drove the point (and Perry Como) home. 77–67.
Meanwhile, in the West, Perry Como’s long-shot #8 chance at reaching the Sweet Sixteen was smothered by Bobby Helm’s #1 “Jingle Bell Rock.” It was a closer battle than the seeding would have suggested. Ultimately, “There’s No Place Like Home for the Holidays” is a lovely sentiment, but who wants to talk about traffic in a Christmas song? I love Perry Como, and I love “TNPLHftH” but just head over and listen to that opening guitar riff in the Bobby Helms classic. And just as an extra bonus, think about this: Como recorded his crooner hit in 1954. It has that old-timey traditional feel to it. Robert Lee Helms recorded his rockabilly rebel song only three years later — in 1957. Dick Clark featured it on Bandstand and it went on to repeatedly hit the charts in ’58, ‘60,’61 and ‘62. Now that’s an instant classic. Also, it’s in Lethal Weapon — the first bit of audio you ever hear in that entire collection of films.
Oh no. Perry Como goes 0–3 in the round of 32. By golly, #2 “Holly Jolly Christmas” ran circles around “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” Again Perry Como is disappointed as he will have to watch the top 16 songs play from the comfort of his own home. The Burl Ives classic looks strong as it advances and those Merry Gentlemen can, you know, rest.
Back to the East, a powerful-looking #3 “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” knocked off #11 “Up on the House Top” by George Strait. Looking ahead, it looks as though the Andy Williams staple is heading on a collision course with Bing Crosby and “White Christmas.” Should be a captivating quarterfinal.
Meanwhile, #4 fell to #5 as “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” was frozen out by Celine Dion’s not-so-surprising “O Holy Night.” Neither of these squads looked consistently good and though she starts off quiet, when Celine pours it on, she has the potential to dominate any challenger in this tournament. Don’t believe me? Start listening here, and check out what she does with the word “Noel” from 4:02 to 4:06. It’s an ankle-breaking drive to the basket with a posterizing dunk at the end. 86–75.
#3 faltered in the West. Frank Sinatra (who you will recall does not love Christmas) was outed for all his cynicism and reluctance and fell to the upstart #11 Stevie Wonder w/ Andra Day and “Someday at Christmas.” Originally released in 1967, when he was only 17, “Someday at Christmas” combines a youthful hope that men will stop “playing with bombs like kids play with toys” and a sobering wisdom that “Maybe not in time for you and me, But someday at Christmastime.” No song moves me like this one. Here, have a cry:
Also in the West, #4 “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” just managed to edge out “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy.” Viewers got more Bing for their buck as Crosby vs. Bowie/Crosby went an extra period.
Few things are as beautiful as Bing Crosby taking a supporting role to a soaring David Bowie as he breaks into “Peace on Earth.” And it’s heartwarming as they both join in a harmony whose power is rivaled only by the conviction for the ideals of which they sing. As for “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” the “if only in my dreams” caveat is a painful reminder that not all make it home for the holidays — and that does the trick. This perennial powerhouse will be stiff competition for any future comers as it went the distance and outlasted the Drummer Boys, 98–95 in overtime.
It’s getting real, people. Tune in (or whatever it’s called on here) tomorrow to see what happens in the Southwest and North Pole regions. Here’s the visual update on today’s carnage:
