Merry Madness — The Tournament of Holiday Music (Part 9). The End
The Elite Eight.
Let’s start as easily as possible — with the good news. In the Battle of the Boobs, Mariah Carey finally took down the Canadian crooner, Michael Bublé (there, I went and found the accent for his é). Meerkat Bluejay had an impossible run that we knew had to end. Ultimately, it was his cavalier approach to “It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas” that left him short of advancing to his first Final Four. However, he leaves with his chin up and a handful of new nicknames. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” will be representing the North Pole in the semifinals and will take on the winner of our next matchup.
Which was Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song” vs. “White Christmas” by The Drifters. This version of “White Christmas” might be my favorite Christmas Song of all time…I’m not sure. I was definitely rooting for it. But from the opening strings that hand off to and from the delicate piano, “The Christmas Song” sets the tempo for Christmas. It’s just nearly impossible to beat. 84–81.
And it only gets tougher from here. Another “White Christmas” falls as, in a surprising twist, Bing Crosby fails to match up against the arguably less talented Andy Williams. Bing tried to do it all himself, while Andy Williams and “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” relied on teamwork and a full compliment of instrumentation to bully Bing around and knock him out just inches away from the Finals.
And the toughest to watch so far: “Jingle Bell Rock” vs. “Holly Jolly Christmas.” As I write this sentence, I’m not sure who will win. I appreciate the reserved tempo that Bobby Helms gives his Jingle horse — more of a trot than a gallop, but the song falls short in failing to respect the Holiday traditions that are more prevalent in other songs. “Jingle Bell Rock” is basically “Jingle Bells Redux,” relying solely on the themes expressed in that traditional favorite. Meanwhile, Burl Ives reaches beyond a “White Christmas” when he admits that he “don’t know if there’ll be snow” but, in an attempt to include everyone, he encourages us all to “have a cup of cheer.” Since it’s Christmas, and more people will be having cups of cheer than will be having horse-drawn sleigh rides, “Holly Jolly Christmas” wins.
The Final Four.
I hate knocking off any of these final four songs more than I hate Helpful Honda Dealer commercials. Which is to say, with a deep, possibly misunderstood hatred.
We’ll start with Andy Williams and “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” facing off against “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Burl Ives. This one was surprisingly one-sided. Despite both squads showing strength and making it this far into the tournament, Andy Williams has all the momentum coming off of two unlikely victories. Also in his favor is the fact that he doesn’t ask anyone to kiss a girl for him. Once Burl Ives reveals his “kiss ‘er once for me” desperation, he never quite recovers. And we’ve all seen what “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” can do with an early lead. 89–74.
On the other side of the globe, Mariah Carey and “All I Want for Christmas is You” square off with Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song.” Eventually, this Mariah tune will graduate from instant classic to classic. These songs come along about once a decade and it’s the most recent offering in the tradition of “Jingle Bell Rock,” “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” and “Last Christmas.” But until then, it gets edged out by the most classic of classics, “The Christmas Song.” 82–77.
A Champion is Crowned.
Andy Williams vs. Nat King Cole.
“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” vs. “The Christmas Song.”
62 songs have failed to make it this far, so it makes sense that we should review where they fell short. Some were too immature, too one dimensional, too specific. The best, the favorites, combined elements of classic instrumentation, excellent vocal performances and lyrical images that could conjure Christmas in the mind even in a heatwave in July.
Which is actually the origin story of our victor.
In 1945, Mel Tormé showed up to the Toluca Lake house of his writing partner and lyricist, Bob Wells. The temperature outside was in the upper nineties, and Tormé let himself in. He saw some lyrics on a notepad near the piano.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos
When Wells entered the room, he was wearing tennis shorts and a shirt. He gestured to the poem and said, “It’s so damn hot, I thought I’d write something to cool myself down.” And yet, what Wells was actually able to do was paint a picture that felt so cold, he also had to include ways to warm back up. The Christmas Spirit was all over this one.
Tormé sat down to the piano and wrote the now famous melody over the first line, remarking “I think you’re onto something here.” And in true Christmas Miracle fashion, they finished the song 45 minutes later.
They rushed it to Hollywood that afternoon and got it in front of Nat King Cole almost immediately. He fell in love with it. He first recorded it, with the complement of that beautiful orchestra, in 1946, but you’ve probably heard more of the subsequent recordings he performed on in 1953 and 1960.
It’s a beautiful song that evokes the spirit of Christmas, alludes to so many Holiday traditions, admits that it’s not a new sentiment (though it’s been said many times, many ways…) and still makes an argument for its placement in the pantheon of classics. And that’s where we leave it. Right on top.
Happy Christmas, everybody.
-j
